


The Nasty Ns

by Pegasus_Eridana



Series: Daddy!Crixus 'verse [9]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus_Eridana/pseuds/Pegasus_Eridana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crixus and Agron fall asleep during a film, and Naev 'n' Nas give them cause to regret it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nasty Ns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PaniJeziora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaniJeziora/gifts).



> This one is for PaniJeziora, who suggested doing something like this advert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA_tWhFzHIc  
> The title is courtesy of ash2060, who has decided that this is the new nickname for Naev 'n' Nas. I agree with it wholeheartedly.  
> I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, but I don't really know why and am therefore unable to fix it. Sorry!

The film drew to a close. The credits began to roll, and Naevia stretched luxuriously on the sofa, snuggling into Crixus.

“So, what did you think?” she gained no reply from her husband, and craned her neck to look at him. His eyes were shut, his mouth slightly open, and his deep breathing showed that he was soundly asleep. Naevia rolled her eyes and glanced across at where Nasir was sitting on the other end of the sofa, ensconced on Agron’s lap. He was in a rather similar position, his husband snoring gently.

Naevia and Nasir wormed out of their respective embraces, then went into the kitchen, leaving their sleeping husbands.

“Philistines,” muttered Nasir. “Who the hell falls asleep during Amelie?”

“Uncultured swine,” Naevia agreed. “They could at least have _pretended_ to enjoy it. We could have made them sit through films that would make them squirm far more than that one did.”

“It was probably ‘cause there were no explosions,” said Nasir wisely. “Honestly, Agron can’t wait ‘til Duro’s old enough to be introduced to Transformers and the Terminator movies and all that kind of stuff.”

“What I don’t understand is how Crixus can happily sit with Rosie through all her baby programmes, but falls asleep during one of the masterpieces of modern French cinema! Although admittedly, Rottentrolls is genius on every level.”

“True dat,” replied Nasir absently. Naevia nudged him.

“Hey, Nas, where are you?” He started and looked at her.

“Sorry, I was just wondering…it’s been ages since we last pranked them, hasn’t it?” Naevia’s face burst into a huge smile.

“Hells yes, not since Rosie and Duro were born…at least not properly.”

“Well I was thinking if maybe now might be a good time to do one? They’re asleep and vulnerable, and they deserve it.”

“I’m listening. What’s our plan of action?”

 ***

The sitting room was dark, lit only by the blue glow coming from the television. Naevia and Nasir crept in, and took their positions in front of Crixus. Slowly and gently, they shuffled him closer to the middle of the sofa, his arm stretched out along its back. They then gently pushed Agron so that he was slumped against Crixus’ shoulder. The two men, still soundly asleep, shifted slightly to get comfortable – Agron snuggled closer and Crixus wrapped his arm around Agron’s shoulders, resting his head on Agron’s. The two pranksters looked down at their work, and Naevia took out her camera phone. Nasir lost it slightly and snorted. Naevia silently but firmly banished him to the kitchen to recover. Once she had taken enough pictures to satisfy her, she joined Nasir, who had out on the kettle.

“All done. Now we just need to wait,” she said.

“Yeah, and possibly gear ourselves up for a divorce – they are _not_ going to be happy when they wake up.” Naevia gave a ladylike snort.

“They’ll do no such thing. We’re too lovably mischievous. Get Agron into bed with you, and I promise he’ll forget he was ever angry with you!” Nasir raised an eyebrow.

“Naev, are you condoning the use of sexual favours to get what we want?” Naevia laughed.

“Idiot, of course not! Don’t tell me you guys wouldn’t otherwise be having sex tonight, because I won’t believe you. The way Agron looks at you…it’s a miracle he ever lets you out of the bedroom!”

“You’re assuming that he’s the one in charge in the bedroom,” commented Nasir dryly. Naevia squealed and demanded details, which Nasir laughingly refused. “And what about you and Crixus? Don’t think I didn’t notice what you guys were doing under the blanket when we were watching Dirty Dancing the other day.” Naevia had the grace to blush and stutter somewhat, and the two of them bantered back and forth in this fashion until a noise from the other room silenced them.

They crept to the door and peeked through the crack, just in time to see Crixus place a sleepy kiss on Agron’s nose, assuming he was Naevia. Evidently the nose felt wrong, because he woke up frowning, and stared in horror at Agron, who had been woken up by the unfamiliar feeling of a couple of days’ worth of stubble rubbing against his nose.

“Fuck!”

“Fucking shit fuck! What the hell Crixus?”

“Shit fuckbuggercrap! I don’t know, I thought you were Naevia!”

“I thought you were Nasir! Bloody shitting hell, this is just like the honeymoon suite all over again!”

“SHUT UP! We swore never to mention that again!”

“Nasir you bastard, I want a divorce and I want one now, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!”

“Naev, remember that mind-blowing sex we were going to have? _Ever_? NOT ANY MORE, WOMAN!”

The two pranksters made their way into the sitting room.

“What’s all this?” asked Nasir innocently.

“You know fucking well what! Fucking pranking again!” spluttered Agron, whilst Crixus glared at his wife, who was all wide-eyed innocence.

“Why, what happened?” she asked. Agron and Crixus both went red and silent, and Nasir and Naevia exchanged a look brimming with mirth.

“Maybe it was just because you’re tired – you have both been working really hard lately,” suggested Naevia sweetly. Agron muttered something.

“Sorry, what was that my love?” asked Nasir.

“I’mnottiredIactuallyjusthadareallygoodsleepjustnow,” Agron repeated slightly louder. Crixus punched him. 


End file.
